With Dada Chen at NYAFF 2013

With Dada Chen at NYAFF 2013
With Dada Chen at NYAFF 2013

Saturday, July 03, 2010

ACF 607: Alien vs Ninja at JAPAN CUTS today at 6:00 PM

Alien vs. Ninja
Directed by Seiji Chiba
Japan, 2010, 85 minutes, digital projection
World Premiere
Co-presented with the New York Asian Film Festival
Showtime: Saturday, July 3rd, 2010, at 6:00 PM

Star Masanori Mimoto will be at the screening

I just recently finished watching my DVD screener, and don't have the time to write a full review here. But in truth, I don't have a lot to add to the description below which comes from the Subway Cinema website. No money was wasted on sets, as it appears that none was spent on them. The "aliens," when seen in full view, are clearly of the "men-in-costume suits" variety. Some of the special effects are fine, if not spectacular, the acting is appropriate for the subject matter, and, oh yeah, there's one really hot ninja babe.

All in all, AvsN is a fun, B-movie. ACF rating is 2.5 out of 4 stars, recommended if you like this sort of thing.

"That title isn’t enough for you?...in the context of crowd-pleasing fun, it far outshines Hollywood’s lame summer product." -Joshua Rothkopf, Time Out New York

In medieval Japan, no one can hear you scream! Whoever wins...we lose! It came to our planet for the thrill of the hunt but it picked the wrong man! It's an alien, a big, disgusting alien who wants to rip out our intestines and tear off our heads. It comes from a planet where everything is goopy and disgusting and the only language it speaks is horrible violence. It's like a drunk redneck with a gun set loose at a wedding reception. This sick extraterrestrial freak even wants to impregnate our species with its hideous jelly babies. It is unstoppable. It is unkillable. It is unbeatable. But it made one mistake: it forgot to make itself ninja-proof.

Ninjas – Japan's national animal. A form of wildlife found in ancient castles lurking in shadows and disappearing in a flash of smoke. Ninjas: they fight like Bruce Lee and they taste like bacon cheeseburgers. Ninja hobbies: flipping out and killing people. Ninja likes: long walks on the beach and killing people. Ninja dislikes: not killing people, aliens. Favorite food: roasted unicorn. Favorite drink: Ninjas do not need liquids, you idiot.

Like some kind of ultra-stupid, ultra-gory version of the Might Moronic Power Rangers, ALIEN VS NINJA is the kind of boneheaded movie that does exactly what it says on the box. There are ninjas, and they fight an alien and by the end so many buckets of gore have been emptied, so many prop swords have been soaked in green alien gunk and so many copyright laws have been violated that the entire Dumb Movies Genre needs to go on vacation. The first title in Nikkatsu's Sushi Typhoon line of films, no other motion picture can offer you the cheap, rotgut thrills of this massive slab of cheddar.

Order tickets here.

Alien vs. Ninja will also be shown on Tuesday, July 6th, 2010 at 3:45 PM. Star Masanori Mimoto is slated to also be at this screening.

For the complete JAPAN CUTS schedule, including other films showing today, click here. Note that the 8:30 PM screening of Mutant Girls Squad appears to be sold out. (No surprise there.)

JAPAN CUTS screenings take place at Japan Society, 333 East 47th Street (between 1st and 2nd Avenues, New York City.

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